Full disclosure – Yes, this post is long. Aside from the fact I like to talk a lot and my mind goes off tangent at times, the things expressed here are absolutely important to think about. 🙂
I’m going to talk about a sensitive topic. It can be scary but it is absolutely important to tackle this area of ourselves before we can even begin to think about what we truly want in life…ready?
Self worth. Ooh I said it. No one likes to talk about self worth if they don’t have a lot if it and if they do, they’re afraid to come off as selfish or thinking they’re better than other people.
I am here to tell you, self worth is the most important thing you will work on in life.
How you see yourself determines the career you choose, the people you surround yourself with and the partner you attract.
Your self worth also determines how other people see you.There is a difference between caring about what others think of you and sharing your message with the world. Sharing your message, to me, is absolutely vital to living an authentic life.
“Be real” or “Just be yourself” are things you hear a lot but sometimes it’s not easy to do if you don’t know who you are. And it’s okay if you don’t.Knowing who we truly are and what we want is a process. Sometimes that process is ongoing. In fact it should be because we are constantly growing and changing as individuals.
In middle school and high school we spend so much time trying to fit in because we are never taught that our uniqueness is what makes us special. People can be very mean when it comes to anything different from their norm. That’s not okay. I am working on writing posts about honoring your worth and how you can embrace your uniqueness so stay tuned!
I tend to digress. The reason I am bringing up self worth is because it affects who we let into our lives and most importantly our hearts. Also, how we treat ourselves determines how much sh*t we take from people. Valentine’s Day just passed and that tends to bring up a lot for us. Whether we are in a relationship or not. I am a romantic 🙂 and love flowers, cards and just the expression of love, Valentine’s Day should not be the only time we reevaluate our love/heart situation.
I challenge you to think of the type of relationship you want with your ideal partner. This should be done whether you are in a relationship or not.
If you’re in a relationship, think of how you can make your current partnership better, happier- whatever that means for you. If you’re single, this is the perfect time to make a list of things you want in a relationship that fulfills you on all levels. Try not to think of someone specific. Think of qualities you want in an ideal partner. Also, think of how you want to feel and things you want to experience -safe, passion, adventure, security, freedom, balance, support…whatever feels right to YOU.
Here are a few questions to get you going:
-How do I want to feel in a romantic relationship?
-What do I bring to the table?
-What attracts me most about another person?
-What are some things I can work on myself to be the best me in a partnership?
-What are the things I will absolutely not tolerate? (Declare your limits)
-Why do I want to be in a relationship?
-What is the purpose of a relationship?
The reason I shared this piece was to send the message: When we honor ourselves, we attract our worth. Relationships are something we all love to talk about, our struggles, our journey and our celebrations.
It is time we get clear about what we deserve and that is the best! Getting into relationships for the wrong reasons (boredom, security, low self esteem, etc.) will not lead to true happiness. We have all been there in some way or another.
All of this comes from growing up seeing unhealthy examples of what a relationship should be and so I always strive to determine love on my own terms. And that’s what you should do.
LOVE always,
Kayla
P.S. I love to hear from you so please share any comments, questions or your own love nuggets in the comments below.
VOW TO BE FIERCE® 
Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up. ~Jesse Jackson