Vow to be Fierce is a judgement free zone. =) Women should have a place to express themselves freely. One topic I would love to focus more on is healthy, romantic relationships. And so I invited one very fierce lady I know, Ms. Kaymara Gayle to write a lil something for us.
We always talk about being healthy or healthier i.e. working out and changing our eating habits. What about those of us who want to be emotionally healthy in a (romantic) relationship?
We all say we want a healthy relationship but are “you” the individual a healthy person?
We often let our excess baggage and past experiences affect our current relationship. Say your ex cheated on you saying “Honey, I’m going out to play basketball” or “I’m going to the gym” at 11pm. Yes, there are gyms open late at night and you (kinda) trust this person until you find out he was cheating on you instead.
You may think because he’s the one who cheated, he’s the only one with issues. You may think you’re fine. Wrong!
His actions impacted you emotionally. If you don’t deal with these feelings now, they will eventually creep into your future relationships without you realizing it.
So boom. You break up and you get yourself a new boo cause everyone says the way to get over a relationship is to get with someone new.
Your current significant other says he is going to play soccer with his boys. You give him an attitude and start an argument. He’s wondering where this is coming from since you’ve been off to a great start and he hasn’t given you any reason to question his word.
The trust issues are creeping in…
You may be sabotaging a potentially good relationship because you didn’t take time to heal.
Guess what? It’s time!
In the above situation, a healthier you should acknowledge and continue to process past hurts while remembering each situation is unique.
The lesson here is to judge each person as an individual. Don’t allow your past experiences to hinder you from moving forward with your life.
Thank you KG Hotsie Totsie as I like to call you, for your contribution! There is so much to be said about healing after a relationship. I’ve learned the hard way, what it’s like to jump from one thing to the next without processing my feelings. Self reflection is a big part of healing and moving forward. I look forward to hearing from you again.